Before we go any further, let us {another form of ‘we’, not united states, we [me and someone (someone refers to one person, eventhough some usually refers to many) who often write english (in my case, not so often though)] always capitalize us for united states, that is US (so, US is not another form of WE)} see a part of english structure (or whatever it is). We use ‘DM’ (Diterangkan-Menerangkan) in bahasa indonesia, such as ‘mobil mewah’, ‘makanan enak’, or ‘SK menarik’, but we use ‘MD’ (Menerangkan-Diterangkan) in english, such as ‘luxurious car’, ‘delicious food’, or ‘interestious SK’. Well, if we feel englishish, it is ‘EE’ (Explained-Explain) for bahasa indonesia and ‘EE’ (Explain-Explained) for english.
…
Or is it not?
So, if you see the title of this story, which is Garlic Shallot, and you aware that this story is written (we don’t care about tenses here, that takes so much effort and money – for me to retake primary school and on) in english, you know what that title means in bahasa indonesia, Bawang Merah Bawang Putih.
…
Is DM-MD (E4) used here?
Whatever, who cares? It is not clear, It’s zinc.
…
I mean… It’s jinx.
Forget it, let’s start the story.

A long long time ago… Not so long though, in a village lives 2 healthy young man.
“Hey man, have you bought that book?”
“That book… Do you mean that?”
“Yes.”
“Book that we read only when we’re alone?”
“Yes…”
“Book that adult usually read?”
“Yeah…”
“Of course, here is it!”
“Heaven yeah! This book… I really want to read this book.”
“See the title, that’s so hot!”
“Yeah… The title is… Garlic Shallot…”
…
That’s hot enough, especially for the eyes.
Let us read that book.

A long long time ago, there is Garlic and Shallot, Pepper, Salt, Chilli, and some… What do you call it? Metchin? Meychin? Meychan? Well, that… just… additional thingy…
…
Hey, it’s not that we will cook fried rice or something.
In a unknown village, live a happy family consists of father, mother, and daughter. The daughter is named Garlic.
What does the parents think when they give their daughter name? From any other better things in the world, they choose garlic?
Maybe because of that, the mother dies, and the remains feel very sad.
Not that sad though, the father decides to marry a widow (not a black one) who has a child named Shallot.
…
In this case maybe the father dies because of ‘that’ curse.
After they have married, not so long, the father (Garlic’s one) dies, maybe because an incest fertilization effect. Really, they’re in alliaceae family.

So the only humans (or you can say seasonings or vegetables, up to you) left are Garlic, Shallot, and Shallot’s mother.
It’s rude not to call someone with her name (it doesn’t mean it’s okay not to call someone with his name), so let’s give her a name.
What is it… Scallion? Onion? That’s just another alliaceae member. That’s not so SK-ish.
Well, mother is the one who give birth and the one who give shallot a birth is earth. So let’s call her Mother Earth.
So, there live Garlic, her stepsister Shallot, and her stepmother, Shallot’s mother. Well, in basa jawa, or precisely suroboyoan, ’step’ is usually used to replace ‘crazy’ or something like that, for example ‘Ooo… Arek iki step’. So, that means Shallot and her mother are crazy.
But Garlic is Shallot’s stepsister right? So doesn’t that mean she’s crazy too?
Well, I said ‘usually used’, right?
…

After her father dies, Shallot and her mother’s attitude is worse and more worse towards Garlic. So that means before Garlic’s father dies, their attitude is bad.
…
Well, it’s not like that is important.
They slap, hit, punch, kick, and whip Garlic so that Garlic obey them, but Garlic doesn’t feel bad at all, because she’s into S&M.
…
I means… She’s into… Sales and Management. Shallot and her mother teach Garlic sales and management. Well, sometimes we use force in sales and management, right?
…
Forget it.

Garlic works almost without rest to fulfil Shallot and her mother’s need and desire. She must get some water (just spin the faucet) from river (exactly behind the house) before dawn (noon is before dawn) that will be used for Shallot and her mother’s bath (the bathroom is approximately 5 kilometers from the house and there is no water, the one who will bath must bring the water him/herself). She must cook (always cook fried egg in fried egg processing machine – just put egg into this) for Shallot and her mother’s food (there is no spoon, plate, table, or something that can be used to carry fried egg so the one who will eat must catch the egg that flying from processing machine with him/her mouth). She must feed the animals (push the button to feed the animals), water the plants (move the slider to water the plants), and clean the house (spin the spinner), too, but she doesn’t feel sad at all, because she’s paid by the government (1000 USD a month) for caring old hag or widow. She feels that maybe sometime her stepmother will love her like Shallots (or not, she doesn’t even care).

Someday Garlic feels like going to do some clothwashing. She put some clothes into the washing machine. She feels bored then and go shopping instead.
In a minutes, suddenly something blows away, that’s the washing machine.
Hey, washing machine can’t explode even when it’s left working, it’s not oven (it seems oven is not like that too).
Shallot hears the explosion and comes right away.
“What the…”
Then her mother comes.
“Shallot, what the heaven are you doing?!”
“I don’t know, mom. Suddenly I hear explosion.”
“You’re liar. You must be scheming something.”
And then Shallot’s mother see something.
“My clotheses! My favorite… G-Strings!”
G-String is also called Garment String, it’s loveable dress made by string.
…
Hmmm… My memory is blurring a little.
“My favorite clotheses is burnt! Why you…”
“It’s not my fault! Before that, our house is in fire too!”
“It’s not important! Our house is insured!”
Hey, if your house is in fire and you’re in the house…
“Silent! It’s not like we’re in a party or something!”
…

Suddenly there’s pumpkin appeared.
Hey, it’s just… unreasonable.
It is reasonable. Pumpkin is very related with clothwashing.
“What the… There’s pumpkin appeared…”
“I’m very pissed off right now, let’s slice the pumpkin!”
Shallot’s mother then bring excalibur from the kitchen and slice the pumpkin in two. But how surprised they are, from that pumpkin appeared poisonous animals like dragon, wyvern, chimera, behemoth, and griffon.
…
They’re not (just) poisonous…
They didn’t have any potion, healing herb, blueberry, HP recovery, mugwort, or something like that. They dies.
That’s the punishment for slicing a pumpkin.

THE END

Because this story is collector edition, we bring you a bonus, just like ori CD or DVD.
The ori ori ones, not the fake ones.

INTERVIEW ABOUT GARLIC SHALLOT

I (Interviewer): The story… It’s just… That?!
A (Author): Yeah, it’s a pain in the neck to write story in english.
I: How about… Grandma who give pumpkins to Garlic? Pumpkin with diamonds inside?
A: That’s not important, the only important one is the bad guys die, end of story.
I: … Your comments then, please.
A: This story makes me cry, about Garlic… Shallot… Really, there’re garlics and shallots being peeled at the time I write this line. About the story, where’s Garlic right now is not important, it can be found at near (super/hyper)market.
I: Hey, that’s garlic, not Garlic.
A: That’s just shift-different, it’s not important. The most important thing is… What the heaven we give Shallot’s mother a name for if it’s not even used?!
I: … Really, the most unimportant one is… this story.
A: Agree. Escpecially the interview part, what for?
I: Yeah, let’s stop this.
A: Hey, what about the interview fee?!